Battling Grief Through the Holiday Season

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! December has always been a month of joy for me, a month of pure celebration. After all, I was born in December. If you are like me or know any fellow December borns, you know how extra we can be about our birth month.  To top it all off, my dad, one of my sisters, a couple of cousins, my brother, my paternal grandmother, and my mother were also born in December. It was a busy month.  I don’t know what all these people were doing in March that produced such awesome humans. But hey, who am I to complain.  Since it was a month of celebration, those from my mum’s side of the family even had an unofficial birthday club. We would usually celebrate with a big family breakfast for our birthday at the end of the month. 

But this year, this 2021, it was going to be vastly different.  Could it be that one of our members flew halfway across the world to pursue her Master’s degree? Being 13 hours ahead, she will celebrate before I even get up.  While that in itself is a void, technology has made it so much easier to bug her, and that I will.  But it wasn’t that.

This one is different, this one will sting. This one, no amount of technology can fill the void. A plane ride can’t take me there and I can’t call on the phone and say Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas.  I can’t say let’s go shopping or come over and help me decorate the house.  I can’t ask what meals we are preparing for our Christmas lunch and wait anxiously to taste her famous dishes like a little child waiting for a treat.  The birthday planning for us, we so excitedly look forward to, we can’t do.

I can only take some flowers and lay them on her resting place. Maybe cry my eyes out a bit or a lot. Reminisce and be thankful for the memories of the many other Christmases and birthdays I had.  This one, this 2021! This is, the first Christmas without my mom.

I can’t re-courage you, as I am now walking this journey for the first time.  But what I do know is that the same way God held my hand when I lost her. The same way He met and comforted me at the point of despair.  The way Psalms 34:8 which says “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”  became so real. He will surely hold my hand or carry me if He has to, through this season.  If you are experiencing any type of grief during this season, lean on God, because I for sure am going to!

To my mum– I miss you, more than words can describe. You were the best mum anyone could ask for. You were kindhearted, loving and so selfless and gave what little you had so sacrificially. I love you and I know you loved me. I thank God for the years He blessed me with having a mum as special, unique, beautiful, and as lovely as you! May you Rest in Peace and Rise in Glory!

Praying all my readers have an awesome Christmas season, remembering that Jesus is the real reason for the season. Wishing you also a blessed and prosperous New Year!! Be Re-Couraged in Christ!